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Dating

Dating is a social action between two people with the plan of accessing each other appropriateness as their partner. When you start dating, you must know that there are a number of most important rules to follow that can help you to get your true love. Dating is regarding two people not of the same sex coming together to observe whether they are similar in temperament, well matched, like minded, compatible, and enjoy being with each other. And then if they enjoy each other's company they may go towards formation of a secure relationship that will lead to marriage. Etiquette is a code of behavior that influences expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group. Rules of etiquette are usually unwritten, but aspects of etiquette have been codified from time to time. Rules of etiquette encompass most aspects of social interaction in any society, though the term itself is not commonly used. A rule of etiquette may reflect an underlying ethical code, or it may reflect a person's fashion or status. Like "culture", it is a word that has gradually grown plural, especially in a multi-ethnic society with many clashing expectations. Thus, it is now possible to refer to "an etiquette" or "a culture", realizing that these may not be universal. Etiquette is dependent on culture; what is excellent etiquette in one society may shock another. Etiquette evolves within culture. In this regard we should also keep mind some rules of good etiquettes which you can find of the Etiquettes page.

ONLY ELOHIM HAS ALL THE RIGHT ANSWERS
The system today's men and women have inherited for finding and marrying a future spouse leaves a lot to be desired. We often hear complaints about the confusion, hurt and sexual sin we encountered despite our best intentions. Many want to know how they can go about getting to know someone and eventually getting married without getting hurt or compromising their faith. No one has a one size fits all answer to questions of this nature. Only GOD has all the right answers for each person but perhaps looking at some questions, some answers, and some scripture can help to make it as clear as mud :~). Ooops, did I say clear as mud I meant clear as the water in the Galveston Bay area. For those of us who are still looking and hoping to do the will of ELOHIM until we are blessed with a compatible partner. Reading some scriptures will help us to find the right road and get where we want to be ~ in love with our ELOHIM selected mate who wants to be married and to spend our lives happily in love forever.
There are a range of resources and expert advice bringing Biblical principles to bear in this area. Some of the messages presented have taken the position that Christians can apply their faith in such a way that they can still work within the system they've inherited. Other messages have stressed that Christians need to be much more counter-cultural. For instance, some promoted a model of courtship that harkens back to a model used broadly before modern dating evolved. People attempting to follow a courtship model within today's culture, however, often run into a lot of practical questions, such as, "What if her dad is unavailable or uninterested in being involved?" or "What do you do when you live hundreds of miles from your family?" These are good questions in today’s world of single parent households. It would be wonderful if we were dealing with dating in the 30’s or 50’s this approach would be feasible but today with MySpace and Tweeter most of the old ways just don’t work. But what makes a society is rules and etiquettes so we will be talking about these each month to the end of this article.
However, the goal of this article, beginning with this introduction, is to provide us with a place to look at questions, answers and scripture to this very compelling subject. The answers may be different from anything you've heard before. The topics we are going to be dealing with are ones in which equally committed Christians have found different Biblical interpretations. Hopefully this Q&A series will be valuable both for those of us who think the Bible gives sufficient guidance for operating within our current system as well as for those who are looking for a completely countercultural path to marriage.
If you're reading this, you're interested in dating. You've done it, you're doing it, you'd like to do it, or you need to teach somebody else how to do it. Don't worry. You're not alone. In our society, dating has become something of an obsession. It is expected to be a universal phenomenon. It's just something you do if you're single and of age (and that age is quickly dropping) in America. It is considered the natural precursor to marriage, and is generally considered something to be desired, whatever form it might take.
It's also big business. If you were to Google the word "matchmaker," you would receive something in the neighborhood of 12,100,000 responses — with a few of these outfits claiming to be Christian, but most making no such claim. "Dating" will get you 462,000,000 hits. As Judaeo Christians, we're called to be distinct in the ways we think and act about all issues that confront us and those around us. This topic is no exception. So, is there such a thing as biblical dating? If so, what is it? How can Judaeo Christians think differently about this pervasive issue in media and culture? How are we doing so far in regards to what the Bible says about dating?
Some would say the answer the last question is "not well." Surveys consistently indicate that professing Christians behave almost exactly like non-Christians in terms of sexual involvement outside of marriage (in both percentage of people involved and how deeply involved they are — how far they're going), living together before marriage, and infidelity and divorce after marriage. In fact, depending on which statistics one believes, the divorce rate for professing Christians may actually be higher than for Americans as a whole. Granted, not all of these people are Judaeo Christian, but we're not doing so well either. But what this really shows is that the Christians world is made-up of real people who are probably more truthful then the rest.
Indeed, the central issue we need to answer is that when it comes to dating and relationships, perhaps more than in any other area of everyday Christian life, the church is largely indistinguishable from the world in the fact that dating and the correct way to do it is difficult for everyone. That truth has brought immeasurable emotional pain and other consequences to many Christians/Judaeo Christians because we care about pleasing ELOHIM. I for one hope that it doesn't have to be this way. The ADONAI has given us HIS Word and the Holy Spirit to help us to understand it. That is if our spiritual leaders are not on a mystical vacation mentally and do not want to slap [something that rebukes, insults, or hurts] us on the hand for every missed step.
But we can not have brothers and sisters in Christ that hold us accountable because that would mean that the people judging us have made the same mistakes and now they think that they can tell us how to do it from the fact that they missed the mark. That’s because hindsight is 20/20, right? In addition to the fact that they lucked out and found someone who wanted to get married. Add that to the fact that 50% of marriages end in divorce now can they be the ones to tell others how to do it right. That’s like the pot calling the kettle black.
The fact is Christian churches are made up of sinner and if we say it’s not true we lie. The facts that confuses me the most are, most church leaders are married and trying to tell single people how to do something they are not having to go through. I complained of having no shoes until I met a man who had no feet. The Bible teaches that the people in charged of the church should be single but single people don’t run anything in the church with the exception of the single functions few and far in number. Now I have read that the Church leader should be married with one wife so they will not be destructed. The truth is even the church does not help with the problem of dating for singles with the exception possibly of a once a year affair for singles. A married person duty is to their family so single person duty are to the church. When was the last time you heard a church leader say anything about that? You won’t. We just pick and chose the part of the Bible that we want to do and find everyone else guilty of the parts we have learned to do correctly. Like anyone is prefect.
What we find is in some churches the married people walk around with their noises so high in the air you could count their noise hairs. :~( And don’t talk to a married man as a single woman his wife will be at his side faster then a flash of lightening. They act like single woman in the church do not have any morals and they are going to take their husband and have sex with them right there in church. I had a woman stare me down in church because she knew that I knew her husband. I stared right back are her because I wouldn’t touch him with her ten foot pole. Why do they act that way, is that what they would do if they were in my place? Granted there are women other there that will do that but they don’t show up in church to do that. How low and desperate do you have to be to do that? I prefer that married man don’t even talk to me if they have wives who act like that. Just assuming that I’m that immoral is an insult to me. If you can’t talk to people in church and feel safe from insults then where?
Sorry, but I was designed to have and be a mate anything else is unchristian and unconscionable. What is needed is a real person who is going through the same lonely nights the same holidays without companionship who is constantly on their knees praying begging for that special person chosen by ELOHIM who will come and stay in their lives and make them feel complete. I’m not much to look at but I’ve been told that I look OK nonetheless I’m here and welling to lead you down the path I too must go. I don’t have a final outcome we will be learning together what the scriptures have to say. If you know any thing about me you know that I like to present the information and let you decide how to use it. Because unlike others I know that you have the gifts of the Spirit to help you understand all things. In the next few months we will learning what the Bible has to say and if we find the right answers maybe we can help others find their way as well. Hey, we can’t do any worst than any of the others who don’t appear to be getting it right either.

SCRIPTURE RULES
If you're called to a biblical life as a Christian or Judaeo Christian then it’s ELOHIM’S Word on the topic of dating, finding a spouse, and getting married is what we want to know. We are going to set out a basic framework for biblical dating so we all know what we're talking about and where we’re coming from. We will start by explaining the theological doctrine that drives the approach we will take to outline (and advocate). That doctrine is called the sufficiency of Scripture. Almost all professing Judaeo Christians are familiar with and vigorously defend the doctrine of the inerrancy of Scripture (which states that the Bible is the authoritative Word of GOD, it's true, and it contains no falsity or error).
The doctrine of the sufficiency of Scripture assumes inerrancy [incapable of making a mistake or containing no mistakes] but then goes a step further. This doctrine simply holds that the Bible is sufficient to guide and instruct us authoritatively in all areas of our faith and life, and that there is no area of life about which the Bible has no guidance for us. The sufficiency of Scripture is taught explicitly and implicitly in many passages, but perhaps the most obvious is the New Testament — 2 Timothy 3:16-17 — All Scripture is GOD-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man/woman of GOD may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
So, how does the sufficiency of Scripture apply to our discussions? Well many Christians/JUDAEO CHRISTIANS who otherwise believe in the inerrancy of the Bible and who might generally agree with the sufficiency of Scripture have nonetheless embraced the world's ideas about dating. In doing so, some make the argument that Scripture doesn't speak to this topic. Many believe it does. The Bible speaks to every area of our faith and life at some level. Some things it talks about explicitly, like salvation, or sanctification, or marriage, or elders. The Bible guides us in some areas by general principles and ideas we can build on as we strive to live the Christian/JUDAEO CHRISTIANS life in practical ways in the real twenty-first century. In either case, no area of life falls totally outside of the guidance and authority of ELOHIM’S Word.
The point is that we cannot simply state that the Bible "doesn't mention dating or courtship," and then think we're off the hook to pursue this area of our lives either on the world's terms or however seems best to us without diligent, submissive reference to ELOHIM’S Word. If the doctrine of the sufficiency of Scripture is true, then ELOHIM’S Word does have authoritative guidance for us about how we might best glorify GOD in this area of our lives. That means our conversation has to be a biblical conversation. Sufficiency of Scripture as part of the groundwork it's one of those doctrines that touches every area of our lives, and it is at the heart of the approach to dating (and life) that we'll talk about here. No matter how practical or specific the questions or the answers we have to strive to have biblical support at some level for everything we say and do.

BIBLICAL DATING
OK. Let's take care of some basic definitions. We may define biblical dating as a method of introduction and carrying out of a pre-marital relationship between a single man and a single woman. That begins (maybe) with the man approaching and going through the woman's father or family; it doesn’t work that way much anymore most couples are dating for a while before they met each other’s parents. The reasons being marriage is not on the mind of every single person and also not to look like louses as a single person bring home a lot of people who don’t workout. Trust me parents keep count. The Scriptural support for the idea of biblical dating is largely by example and implication. We will look at a number of passages that support various aspects of biblical dating, but for now, here are some scriptures to look at and study in the New Testament as our base to build on:
The book of First Corinthian ~ Corinth, the most important city in Greece during Paul’s day, was bustling hub of worldwide commerce, degraded culture, and idolatrous religion. There Paul founded a church (Acts 18:1-7), and two of his letters are addressed “to the church of God which is in Corinth.” First Corinthians reveals the problems, pressures, and struggles of a church called out of a pagan society. Paul addresses a variety of problems in the life-style of the Corinthian church: factions, lawsuits, immorality, questionable practices, abuse of the Lord’s Supper, and spiritual gifts. In addition to words of discipline Paul shares words of counsel in answer to questions raised by the Corinthian believers.
The basic theme of this epistle is the application of Christian principles to carnality in the individual as well as in the church. The cross of Christ is a message that is designed to transform the lives of believers and make them different as people and as a corporate body from the surrounding world. However, the Corinthians are destroying their Christian testimony because of immorality and disunity. Paul writes this letter as his corrective response to the news of problems and disorders among the Corinthians. It is designed to refute improper attitudes and conduct and to promote a spirit of unity among the brethren in their relationships and worship. Paul’s concern as their spiritual father (1 Corinthians 4:14, 15) is tempered with love, and he wants to avoid visiting them “with a rod” (1 Corinthians 4:21)
Key Verses: 1 Corinthians 6:19, 20 and 1 Corinthians10:12, 13 — “or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from GOD, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify GOD in your body” (6:19, 20). “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has over taken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it” (10:12, 13)
Key Chapter: First Corinthians 13 — read at wedding and often the text for sermons, First Corinthians 13 has won the hearts of people across the world as the best definition of “love” ever penned. Standing in stark contrast to the idea that love is an emotion, that one can fall into or fall out of love, this chapter clearly reveals that true love is primarily an action. This is why when “GOD so loved the world, the He gave” (John 3:16-19 16For GOD so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that HE [even] gave up HIS only begotten (unique) SON, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life. 17For GOD did not send the SON into the world in order to judge (to reject, to condemn, to pass sentence on) the world, but that the world might find salvation and be made safe and sound through HIM. 18He who believes in him [who clings to, trusts in, relies on him] is not judged [he who trusts in him never comes up for judgment; for him there is no rejection, no condemnation--he incurs no damnation]; but he who does not believe (cleave to, rely on, trust in him) is judged already [he has already been convicted and has already received his sentence] because he has not believed in and trusted in the name of the only begotten Son of GOD. [He is condemned for refusing to let his trust rest in JC's name as our High Priest because we have no other name.] 19The [basis of the] judgment (indictment, the test by which men are judged, the ground for the sentence) lies in this: the Light has come into the world, and people have loved the darkness rather than and more than the Light, for their works (deeds) were evil.) This may read for some that this is a free for all and it is but you can work you way out of it. Judaeo Christians do good works to please ELOHIM but if you are a Judaeo Christian doing the work of the evil ones you do not have the same protection so you can work your way out of this free for all.
I Corinthians 6:9-7:19 (command to be pure, seriousness of sexual sin and instructions regarding marriage)
9Do you not know that the unrighteous and the wrongdoers will not inherit or have any share in the kingdom of GOD? Do not be deceived (misled): neither the impure and immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor those who participate in homosexuality,
10Nor cheats (swindlers and thieves), nor greedy graspers, nor drunkards, nor foulmouthed revilers and slanderers, nor extortionists and robbers will inherit or have any share in the kingdom of GOD.
11And such some of you were once. But you were washed clean (purified by a complete atonement for sin and made free from the guilt of sin), and you were consecrated (set apart, hallowed), and you were justified [pronounced righteous, by trusting] in the name of the lord Jesus Christ and in the Holy Spirit of our GOD.
12Everything is permissible (allowable and lawful) for me; but not all things are helpful (good for me to do, expedient and profitable when considered with other things). Everything is lawful for me, but I will not become the slave of anything or be brought under its power.
13Food [is intended] for the stomach and the stomach for food, but GOD will finally end [the functions of] both and bring them to nothing. The body is not intended for sexual immorality, but [is intended] for the Lord, and the Lord [is intended] for the body to save, sanctify, and raise it again.
14And GOD both raised the Lord to life and will also raise us up by His power.
15Do you not see and know that your bodies are members (bodily parts) of Christ (the Messiah)? Am I therefore to take the parts of Christ and make [them] parts of a prostitute? Never! Never!
16Or do you not know and realize that when a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? The two, it is written, shall become one flesh.
17But the person who is united to the Lord becomes one spirit with Him.
18Shun immorality and all sexual looseness [flee from impurity in thought, word, or deed]. Any other sin which a man commits is one outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.
19Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from GOD? You are not your own,
20You were bought with a price [purchased with a preciousness and paid for, made His own]. So then, honor GOD and bring glory to Him in your body.
1 Corinthians 7
1NOW AS to the matters of which you wrote me. It is well [and by that I mean advantageous, expedient, profitable, and wholesome] for a man not to touch a woman [to cohabit with her] but to remain unmarried.
2But because of the temptation to impurity and to avoid immorality [contrary to accepted moral principles] let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband.
3The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights (goodwill, kindness, and what is due her as his wife), and likewise the wife to her husband.
4For the wife does not have exclusive authority and control over her own body, but the husband has his rights; likewise also the husband does not have exclusive authority and control over his body, but the wife has her rights.
5Do not refuse and deprive and defraud each other of your due marital rights, except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves unhindered to prayer. But afterwards resume marital relations, lest Satan tempt you to sin through your lack of restraint of sexual desire.
6But I am saying this more as a matter of permission and concession, not as a command or regulation.